Experiencing true love is undoubtedly one of the best experiences we can have during our lives. However, it can happen that it is confused with emotional dependence.
You should know that the distinction between love and emotional dependence is very fine, even subtle. Thus, it is very easy to “cross the line” and fall into an unhealthy relationship where the personality of the loved one takes precedence over ours.
How do you know if you have emotional dependence? What differentiates a healthy romantic relationship from a toxic one?
1. Love is sharing, dependence on selfishness
When you love someone, you seek to make the other person happy. This person inhabits your thoughts and you never stop imagining new ways to surprise and satisfy her.
You don’t worry about who the two of you contribute most to the relationship and you don’t get angry over trivial details, because you know that you can count on him. On the contrary, you ask for his opinion and you give it to him without expecting anything in return. Quite simply because giving it (your time, your love…) fills you with joy.
On the contrary, if you are emotionally dependent on him, you will do anything to make him happy, even if it tortures you, just to get love and attention in return. It is therefore a selfish relationship, where you constantly feel immense fear: that of being abandoned. One thing leads to another and you will probably try to manipulate your partner, make yourself indispensable or emotionally blackmail him to continue receiving this attention from him.
2. Love sets you free, addiction locks you up
To love means to leave room for the other so that they can develop and flourish. It also means allowing your partner to express themselves, to be able to reveal their weaknesses and faults to you without fear of being judged.
Mutual trust then becomes the cement of your relationship, and allows each person to express their full potential. In this type of relationship there is no room for control, because each encourages the other to discover new goals and achieve them.
Love is very important for personal development. Conversely, emotional dependence becomes a prison. The emotionally dependent person wants their partner to spend more and more time by their side, to be completely enslaved to the relationship, to forget their own dreams and plans. Thus, the relationship becomes destructive and toxic for both parties.
3. Love is lasting, addiction is fleeting
Love usually lasts for a while. In reality, unlike passion, love develops and grows over the years. Just like a tree, its roots go deeper and deeper and new branches grow as our feelings mature.
This doesn’t mean that there won’t be arguments or disagreements, but everyone will grow from it having made the decision every day to stay together. Not because you need him, but because you love each other.
Love focuses on the other, on their qualities and strengths. On what makes him ideal in your eyes. Instead, emotional dependence is a leaky vessel that needs to be continually filled with love and attention and from anyone.
This is what makes many emotionally dependent people enter into relationships without finding what suits them, quite simply because what interests them is not the person themselves, but its ability to fill their emotional void.
So, to be emotionally dependent is to be incapable of living alone or looking for a soul mate.
A relationship based on emotional dependence will definitely make the couple unhappy. The dependent person will always want more, they will not be satisfied and will live with the fear of one day being left behind.
And the other will feel more and more overwhelmed by events, incapable of developing their potential and locked in a relationship that can offer them nothing. So, at one point or another the relationship will end up falling apart.
Hypnosis to the rescue of your relationship
Fortunately, if you are emotionally dependent, there is still time to save your relationship with hypnosis. Indeed, you have within you the ability to rekindle the flame of love in your relationship, to allow yourself to live a mature and complementary relationship where you can both flourish.
To recover all these resources hidden within you, you will need to ask your Unconscious for help. Because it is the pilot in your brain, and it is thanks to it that you will be able to produce the changes you desire.
What is the Unconscious?
Well the Unconscious is a bit like a mailbox. Every day we receive thousands of messages from the environment around us: the air gliding over the skin, a bird passing by, the sound of the pipe at the other end of the street…
Among all these messages we receive, very few are important to us. And as we cannot check all the messages that constantly arrive to us, then the Unconscious puts a filter which automatically does the cleaning for us. Messages he thinks are important he leaves in the inbox. Everything else ends up in the “spam” section and we no longer pay attention to it.
The principle of hypnosis, it’s simply sending him a message with a little “important” sticker, a bit to tell him: you should read this message, I think it’s important for you. Here, we could tell him “I am capable of being independent” or “I can allow myself to give my partner more freedom” or even “I can give love instead of just receiving it”.
This may seem simple to do, but that is without taking into account the resistance of the Conscious. He is the little child next to the driver who makes the engine noises with his mouth while thinking he is driving the car. The Conscious does not like to be left out. So if he sees that we are neglecting him to focus on the Unconscious, he will come and add his two cents and delete the message from the inbox.
We will therefore have to keep him busy, give him something to do to prevent him from disrupting the work of the hypnotherapist. And for that, nothing better than a little story.
By telling a story in the form of a metaphor, the Conscious Mind then focuses on the story and the therapist can thus discreetly convey the message to the Unconscious Mind.
For example, by suggesting advice that would help him better manage his relationship, and in particular… get out of emotional dependence.
Again, your Unconscious Mind can decide whether or not to accept the suggestions, which is why hypnosis cannot work against your will and your motivation is essential to produce the changes you want.
After this hypnotic work, you will then notice in the days or weeks that follow a profound transformation within you. Almost effortlessly, you will simply be able to detach yourself from the toxic mechanisms of emotional dependence.
You will then become more independent, more confident in your ability to be loved for who you are and this fear of being abandoned will gradually disappear.
Hypnosis is undoubtedly your most valuable ally in detaching yourself from emotional dependence. Thus, you are free to consult a hypnotherapist to become today your ideal of a fulfilled and desirable woman in her relationship.
p.s.: I highly recommend Adam’s site. in which many articles will help you!