How to seduce a man by touching his subconscious?

Why and how to touch a person’s unconscious? Patrick Harris seduction coach for 22 years, writer, screenwriter and speaker, answers us:

It is the unconscious, 90% of the brain, which decides our habits, our reflexes, our desires, and above all, all of our emotions. Now the state of love is an emotion, it is the emotion of love.

Which means that if you want to seduce a man, you must address his subconscious! Difficult at first glance, but when you know the psychological principles that address the subconscious, it becomes easy.

There are a dozen unconscious psychological principles: sympathy of course, but also authority, rarity, association, social proof, reciprocity… Here are a few examples:


It is obvious that it is easier to obtain a positive response from an interlocutor if you are nice to them!


The unconscious is convinced that what is rare has value. The reason is that what is rare is often expensive, like diamonds, and what is expensive is often valuable. The unconscious takes the shortcut, and deduces that what is rare has value. He is of course wrong, as is often the case! Long-haired yellow tarantulas are certainly rare, but their value is up for debate! But the principle works. For example, what is a hunter? This is a man who spends a huge amount of money and time to get a hunting license, then buys a gun, a suit, then gets up at 5am on a Sunday for the sole purpose of…. To kill a rabbit that costs 30 euros at the butcher’s! It sounds ridiculous, but the explanation is the scarcity process. Indeed, the rabbit has enormous value for the hunter, and this only because it is rare. On the one hand because a rabbit runs fast, and on the other hand because there are not many rabbits in nature. If there were rabbits everywhere, there would be no hunters! It’s exactly the same thing for seduction. A person who is rare, who is difficult to catch, is much more valuable to another. But you have to maintain a balance: if you are too rare, the other person risks becoming discouraged, but if you are too easy to pick, there is no longer any challenge, and your value becomes too low.

The association

1/the association without a causal link:

Brain image made out of little cogwheels. Brainwork. Creativity concept.

The unconscious always makes the association between all the elements brought together in the same context. Advertisers, king of persuasion, use this principle regularly. For example, when they want to sell us a perfume, what is their strategy? They place a superb mannequin then the perfume. There is no causal link between the model and the perfume, but the unconscious links the two and the perfume thus inherits the qualities of the model, and concludes that the perfume is of quality. The unconscious draws a picture of the same situation, which includes all the elements of this context, then gives it a final score. Since there is a model in the ad, the rating is excellent, and since the perfume is also in the drawing, it also receives an excellent rating. There are also more marriages following a meeting at the vacation spot than at the workplace, which is a priori surprising, since there are many more meetings between two people of the opposite sex in front of the coffee machine. than under the sun. But if a person is on sand, they will inherit the value of vacation: joy, pleasure, well-being! It will therefore become “joy, well-being pleasure”, and its value will increase. In an office, this person will on the other hand represent the values ​​of work: arduousness, constraints, difficult hours… The seductress must take this association into account, so, contrary to what popular common sense recommends, the first meeting should not not be in a cafe. Certainly this promotes communication, but a bar is banal, and the seductress will thus, by association, also become “ordinary”. On the other hand, meeting the other in a park is a more judicious idea. The seductress will thus inherit the qualities of the context: the trees, nature, the blue sky…. Also on a sports field. If the other person says they love tennis, for example, you must become their partner: you will then be associated with the emotions generated by playing a sport. (The body of an active athlete generates 4 times more endorphin, the feel-good hormone, than normally).

Speaking of athletes, the association also explains the excessive behavior of certain supporters. Indeed, the supporter is Parisian, he is associated with his city of residence. PSG the same. So the supporter is associated with the PSG, and when the latter scores a goal, the value of the supporter increases, and when the PSG loses, the supporter will upset the person who is associated with the winning team, the supporter of in front ! Why this behavior? To regain value!

Association with causation.

This is even more powerful than that without a causal link.

We are all causally associated, with everything we do, with everything we say. For example, if your concierge spends his time complaining “the neighbors are too noisy, it’s raining, I don’t have enough money, etc..” » She ends up becoming a “negative entity” and we will try not to cross paths with her in the hallway again! We always run away from what is negative. Another example, if Gainsbourg managed to get the most beautiful women in France into his bed, it was not because he was handsome and intelligent! It wasn’t because he was rich either, because his victims were too, no, it was because of the association with causation. Indeed, when he played a piece to Brigitte Bardot, she fell in love with it. And Gainsbourg was associated with this piece, and with a causal link since it was he who played. So Brigitte fell in love with the pianist. This therefore explains the power of seduction of singers in general.

The seductress must therefore take this association into account. She should never complain or criticize. She would then become “negative” herself. On the other hand, if it is always positive, it sends a message clearly perceived unconsciously by the other: “you see, with me life is beautiful. If you come with me you will forget all your troubles. And we all get in trouble. We argue with family, with friends, taxes increase…. Seduction, in Latin, is “seducere”, which means “attract to oneself”… a positive person attracts another. We are irresistibly attracted to what is positive, and we flee from what is negative. Same for the smile: if the seductress smiles, it is associated with the values ​​of her smile, and with a causal link, since it is she, of course, who decides to smile! The values ​​of smiling are joy, pleasure, well-being. The seductress then becomes these values.

The analytical association.

The unconscious is a computer of incredible power that remembers everything since our birth, and especially during birth. The child in his cradle notices that his parents looked him in the eyes, an equation then forms in his brain: “parent equals love” and “Parents equal “eyes to eyes”. So “love” equals “eye to eye” The seductress who looks the other in the eyes tells him “I deserve to be loved, as your parents deserved”.

Social proof

If a flock of sheep throws itself into a ravine, the last sheep throws itself with it… The seducer must therefore make the other understand that everyone loves him: That he has many friends for example…


When you give something to someone, they unconsciously feel indebted and want to give something in turn. The seductress must therefore offer a small gift to her target, even from the first date, like a small box of chocolate. A gift certainly of little value, but which thus triggers the principle of reciprocity. Patrick Harris can teach you, in private conversations, at his offices or by telephone, all the psychological principles that allow you to seduce effectively. Visit his site for this: