I Promise You That From Now On, I Will No Longer Be There For You

I swore I would never become one of those pathetic girls who cries over a guy. I had sworn to myself that I would never allow myself to fall so in love that I would end up forgetting myself.

I promised myself that I would never give anyone a second chance, since I believe that when someone lets us down, they will be able to start again.

And here I am…

I’m a girl who’s given too many chances. I am a girl who fell so in love that she forgot herself. I only saw you and nothing else.

I transformed into one of those girls I swore I would never become. You know, the ones who give themselves completely to someone and end up being destroyed by that same person.

When I look in the mirror, I no longer recognize myself. This person staring at me looks like me, but I don’t recognize them.

I don’t recognize the dark circles under his eyes, I don’t recognize his look and it’s as if he’s missing something… Maybe a smile? I smiled a lot. But not anymore.

I don’t recognize this girl anymore because she gave you everything. My God, she not only gave you everything, she gave you more than double what you deserved.

That girl staring at me in the mirror knelt down for you. But in truth, she never should have.

You didn’t deserve any of this. You didn’t deserve my love, my trust or my effort. You didn’t deserve it, because you never bothered to give me anything in return. But you received all this.

You know how they say everything has an end? Well, my blindness too. This one way Love Also.

There will be no more chances for you. You had more than enough and you refused them all.

You kept letting me down and I kept giving you the tools to do so.

I should have trusted my instincts and walked away the first time you played me. But instead of listening to my reason, I listened to my heart.

I’m done being your last resort. I’m done seeing you come to me when you have nowhere to go, when no one else is willing to give you a shoulder to cry on.

I’m done letting you use me. I’m done being there for you, when I know you wouldn’t even want to be there for me if I needed you.

I will not neglect myself any more to make you happy. Rather than taking care of myself, I made it my ultimate mission to take care of you.

Rather than focusing on my happiness, I focused on my desire to make you happy. In my constant efforts to improve your life, I have forgotten mine.

But now you won’t be able to play with my life anymore. Every time I decided to move forward and every time I made the decision to end it all, you intervened and pushed me to give up everything I was doing.

You came with all these stupid promises, telling me that this time everything would be different and that you needed me. And, as naive as I was, I ended up giving up everything for you.

I no longer hope for things to change. I no longer have expectations. Because I’m finally ready to see you as you really are and not as I wish you were.

You’re not half the man I thought you were. And that’s okay.

You can continue to be this half, but with someone else.

Because I’m done settling for the minimum.

I started to lose myself. And honestly, I would have loved to lose myself for a man who deserves me. It’s just that there was no love in you, you don’t deserve me.

It took me a while to open my eyes and realize that you weren’t beneficial to me.

In truth, I deserve more. I deserve more than what you gave me or what you are willing to give to any girl who comes into your life.

I deserve someone who will never stop trying.

I deserve someone who will love me for who I am and I deserve someone who won’t leave me to face the obstacles our relationship will have to overcome alone.

I deserve someone who won’t make me cry myself to sleep, someone who will worry about letting me down and who will see my worth.

Maybe you won’t notice my departure. But you’ll notice that you’re missing something.

You will be missing someone to talk to, you will be missing someone who would never abandon you, someone who would believe in you, someone you could always count on.

Someone who helps you feel better when things aren’t going well. But I promise you that from now on, I will no longer be there for you.

It is often said that the most difficult battles are those where the desires of our heart clash with what our reason deserves? In this war, I have chosen my side.

I promise you that from now on, I will no longer be there for you. And even though it still hurts like hell, it’s a promise I intend to keep.